


Despondency and Orange Crushes

by kittensmctavish



Category: Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Aging, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 05:31:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14073957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittensmctavish/pseuds/kittensmctavish
Summary: Lin finds you despondent about something.Originally posted to tumblr September 20, 2017.





	Despondency and Orange Crushes

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted from my tumblr of the same name
> 
> i was finding grey hairs and not fucking having it so i wrote this self-indulgence oops

When Lin found you, you were curled up on your bed, staring at the oscillating fan as it oscillated.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” you said. The fan oscillated in your direction, blowing your hair back, making you blink.

“Why all the blankets?” Lin asked, having just noticed that you were curled up underneath at least three blankets.

“Got cold,” you said with a shrug. Lin walked over to the oscillating fan and turned it off.

“That should help,” he said. You shrugged again, eyes still on the fan. Lin bent down so he was in your eyesight and waved at you. In the testing-your-eyesight way, not the greeting way. He leaned in close, as if to examine your eyes, and you reached out to swat him away.

“Go away, I’m despondent,” you half-whined.

“Ooh, you can be despondent next to me,” he said, standing up to move over to the other side of the bed.

“Nooooo, you’re just gonna try to make me not despondent and I’m perfectly content to remain despondent right now,” you whined further.

“Too late,” Lin said happily as he settled himself on to the bed next to you and gathered you into his arms. “Now, my despondent blanket burrito love, tell me why come the despondency.”

“Mmpf.”

“…Mmpf, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, but I’m gonna stay here and cuddle you until you tell me. Or until you fall asleep. In which case…well, I’ll probably be asleep, too, so…I forgot my point.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

Lin could hear you smiling in spite of yourself. He leaned over to kiss your cheek, before returning to cuddle your blanket-y form.

“…I found a grey hair,” you finally said. “Like, an actual grey hair. Not really really light blonde. Grey.” Lin reached up to your hair and ran his fingers through it. He loved your hair. It was always so soft and smelled of a lovely combination of vanilla, peppermint, and clove.

“I don’t see any,” he said, reassuringly.

“I know, I pulled it out,” you said, trying to elbow him as best you could in your blanket-wrapped form. “But it’ll grow back to mock me. And then another one will show up. And another. And another.”

“That won’t happen for a long time,” Lin said, holding you a little tighter.

“You don’t know that,” you said, pulling away slightly. Lin loosened his hold to let you have the bit of distance you wanted, but kept his arms around your waist. You sighed, tucking your head further into yourself, your hair catching the light.

“I’m also getting wrinkles,” you said after a time. “Like, under my eyes. As if the dark circles didn’t already make me look tired, now I’ve got fucking wrinkles with which to contend.”

“‘With which to contend’?” Lin asked.

“It’s proper fucking grammar, you fucking troglodyte,” you muttered. Lin hid his face in your back as he laughed. He could feel you struggling not to laugh, too, but the sensation he was causing you made that impossible, evidently.

“I’m getting old,” you said as the last of the laughter stopped and the despondency crept back in. “And decidedly less pretty.”

“Um…LESS pretty?” Lin said, affronted.

“Shut up, I’m not pretty and everyone knows it,” you said.

“…okay, turn over and look at me,” Lin said. “I need to look at something.” You sighed, but tried to comply as best you could, muttering something about “fucking blankets” as you squirmed. Lin sat up to help untangle you from your blanket burrito, and laid back down when you were facing him.

Lin studied your face. It was true; there were some fine lines forming underneath your eyes, if he looked closely enough. But…

“Guess what,” he said, hand reaching up to stroke your cheek. “You’re very pretty. And you always have been.”

“You’re just saying that because you have a crush on me,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Well, we’ve been married a few years now; I’m ALWAYS gonna have a crush on you,” he said, poking the tip of your nose. “And I’m always gonna think you’re the prettiest.”

“Prettier than you?”

“Always.”

“Prettier than Groff?”

“…okay, maybe not THAT pretty.”

“No one’s prettier than Groff,” you laughed. “That’s just a fact of life.”

“But for serious,” Lin said. “You’re beautiful. Grey hair or wrinkles or whatever. Yeah…those suck. And it’s not like I don’t know what you’re talking about. I mean…I AM older than you.”

“Not by that much but…like, it’s different for men,” you said. “Aging. Like, with men, grey hair and some wrinkles are ‘distinguished’. With women it’s just ‘getting too old’.”

“Well, that’s because society is bullshit,” Lin said. “You will never be too old to me. You are always going to be lovely and lovable and I am always going to love you, be in love with you, have a super-mega-Orange-Crush on you.”

“Orange Crush?”

“I may or may not have been listening to some R.E.M. earlier today.”

“Ah.”

“But point is…I’m over the moon about every part of you and always will be. Every single part of you, to me, is absolutely perfect. Even the ones you think aren’t, like grey hairs and wrinkles. Even the squishy bits of you I can’t see, because they all perform functions that keep you alive and here with me.”

“Squishy bits?” you said with a laugh. “What, like my…spleen or whatever?”

“You have no idea just how infatuated I am with your pancreas,” Lin said with such seriousness that you reached over to tickle him. He rolled over on to his back, reaching up at your hands to get them away from his sides, laughing all the while.

“You’re such a fucking dork,” you said when you’d ceased your attack. Still bent over him. Sort of pinning him to the bed. You rested your head on his chest, over his heart, closing your eyes. “I should be mad at you. I was happy being despondent.”

“You’re a contradictory wonder, love,” Lin said, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you right where you were. He kissed your forehead.

“Thank you,” you said, looking up at him. “For thinking I’m pretty.”

“…close your eyes,” Lin said. Confusion washed over your face for a moment, but you did as he said. Lin took your face in his hands, leaned up, and carefully kissed one eye, then the other. Right over where the wrinkles were. He heard your breath catch. And when he pulled away, you opened your eyes; they were shining.

“Just…wanted to show I’m always gonna think you’re beautiful,” Lin said. You smiled, blinking fast as though about to cry. Then you leaned over and kissed him. You held the kiss for a while, settling your weight over him, cradling his face in your hands.

“Thank you,” you whispered after you broke the kiss.

“For thinking you’re beautiful?” Lin asked.

“For making me feel beautiful,” you said, kissing one side of his face, then the other. “And those are because I have a super-mega Orange Crush on you, too.”

“Oh, thank god.”

“Dork.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“…wanna make out for a while?”

“Would I be on top of you if I didn’t?”

“Good point.”

**Author's Note:**

> feedback welcome and appreciated


End file.
